Getting "approached" by women
A woman will always put herself into a position for you to "take the lead" if she is interested. I don't really call that approaching, per se, I call it "jocking". An example for contextual purposes.
I was at a nightclub back in 98 with my cousin, who is also my best student and partner in crime, in Las Vegas. I made sure we got there early to be able to have a seat. So, as we sit, chat, and enjoy our drinks, the place starts filling up. Soon it is packed, and we are just having a ball looking at all of the women interacting with each other and how the guys are just acting a fool to get their attention.
Suddenly, I noticed this FINE mixed black chick with flowing hair and a body from hell that kept on passing by us back and forth with her friend. What made it funnier was because there was always a guy behind her trying to get her attention. My brain didn't alert me to it until about the 3rd pass; the reason is because I always try my best to rule out coincidence versus interest. So, my brain starts rationalizing; if I could describe it, it would probably sound something like this:
She just passed me again!, Maybe she is checking someone else out, hum. She does glance at me with every pass, naw, I'm being presumptuous. Here she comes again, maybe she is checking out my cousin or someone else, naw, I think it IS me. Okay, if she passes again, let's find out.
So, while my brain is processing the data, I'm also chopping it up with my cousin, that also concurs that she is either checking me out or him out. So, I say, "okay, next pass we'll see what the deal is, because if what I think is true, she WILL pass again".
Sure enough, in the next 5 minutes she was making her way through again. This time, I met her glance, which transformed it into a gaze. She was coming toward my left side. So, with no sudden movements, I raised my left hand, brought my fingers to my thumb like I was pinching something quickly about 3 times, and mouthed the words, "Come see." (It was loud, so speaking or yelling would have killed the beckoning, I believed.)
This was all the green light this chick needed. She instantly made a beeline for me, plopped right into my lap, and started chatting away. I think my cousin's eyes almost fell out of his head. After I had given her my number and told her to enjoy her evening, he gave me the rundown of how everyone in the general vicinity was just in shock over the situation, because I was so focused on her, he kept an eye on the perimeter.
I said all of that to say this: Never second guess yourself, and trust your gut. If you think a girl is putting herself in a position for you to talk to her, 8 times out of 10 she probably is. Just make sure The Most Interesting Man in the World isn't sitting behind you first or something. Ha-ha Ha-ha –The Kidd!! (May 21, 2010) (Post)
The Kidd!! wrote:
A woman will always put herself into a position for you to "take the lead" if she is interested.
The Kidd!! wrote:
I said all of that to say this: Never second guess yourself, and trust your gut. If you think a girl is putting herself in a position for you to talk to her, 8 times out of 10 she probably is.
Really nicely put Kidd, Good example also, gave me some flashbacks to events. :-) Thanks for that.
In the past before people kept slinging slang and all this terminology at me, I referred to these events in the following way:
Display: Woman/girl doing something to bring herself into your awareness - being in line of eyesight; doing something at a distance to draw attention, while it not overtly being aimed at you. Think of a group of girls going all high energy; there is usually a reason - they are trying to get someone’s attention. Someone that was not in your line of sight moving into it and staying there, going more high energy or coy to draw attention. Volume rapidly going up. Someone repeatedly moving around to make sure they stay in your line of sight.
These can range from very subtle to gobsmackingly overt, usually at a distance though.
Circling: Repeatedly passing by, close enough to your awareness radius that you end up Recognising it, or it getting your attention. She will often do this at a distance, then gradually hone in distance wise until she has hit your awareness radius and knows that you noticed her in some way. She will be very aware of when she has, regardless of what you think; women seem to have a real awareness of this.
Half-approach: Putting herself close to you or in your way, so you have a real good chance of either running into her or talking to her if you want to. No real way you cannot notice her unless your head is on Mars at the time. She has approached you without the opening bit; not usually face on, side on, or half-facing, but real close to you.
Balls-out-approach: Anything along the lines of appearing near you, walking up to you and facing you full on and plainly opening to you.
As Spaceman added, "women can be very subtle, quite a lot of times it will be a subtle test of your interest". They want to draw your attention, see how you react to it before they go further. That way there is no risk of rejection or making a fool of themselves; they also do this just for fun and the excitement of it. Think of girls playing, hyping their emotional state and enjoying the feelings that this gives them.
Some do it for kicks, because they love the feelings and emotions it gives them for validation and for pure interest. Your reaction to what they are doing tells them a lot about you as a man. It is a very subtle test of your character; the way you react to it is very telling. Just as if you do it as a man to a woman, how she reacts can tell you a lot about her if you pay attention.
It is a sliding scale, on some level she is trying to get your attention and judge your interest to her, get a read on you and move the interaction forward. She is making herself available in some way, main difference being how much.
It, ironically enough, is also a really good test of your options. If you are a man used to scraps and not getting much you are more likely to jump at the slightest sign and react to it. If you are a man used to getting these signs and displays from women it will probably take more for you to notice her and react to it. The reaction you have is also very important to her on a gut level; are you observing it and calmly taking it in, or are you doubting it, or do you really just not notice, even if she is right in your face. In this way she can judge how used you are to getting attention from women, how aware you are, and how 'needy' you are for the attention. It really is quite clever if you think about it.
As Kidd said in his post, once the girl had seen how he reacted, and given how she was behaving, when she got the green light from him, I have noticed you, and reacted and told you nonverbally that I am open to you approaching, she felt safe in approaching him and being quite physical. She relaxed because of what she had seen before she'd even gotten close to him; she had read a lot from him before this point because of the way he had responded and reacted throughout the whole 'dance'.
Some need to get more of a read on you first before they either feel comfortable doing it, or feel they are not making a big mistake with you and have read you totally wrong. Some will just be balls out and walk up to you, as they have seen enough from watching you from beyond your awareness radius and are sure of what they have seen, not needing confirmation or any kind of evaluation before approaching. –Peregrinus (May 22, 2010) (Comment)
Quite often I have women stand behind me and subtly, :-D, back into me, gently at first, real light contact, testing - feeling me out, and then maintain contact.
It may only be a very small area of contact to begin with.
When I notice them doing this to other men, I see one of two things:
A) The man will move forward, breaking the contact, as he is uncomfortable with it, for whatever reason.
B) The man will PUSH into her, forcing her to break the contact.
I tend to just let them do it, occasionally moving into them by small amounts in a relaxed way. They also do the same to me.
It is a way for her to establish physical contact with you; from this, you both learn something.
She learns how relaxed you are, as she is feeling your body, and will pick up any tension or nerves in you.
You gain the same thing from her.
You also both get to play with the feeling; get to feel the other and their state at that moment.
It is interesting to observe the different reactions in women when this takes place without ever looking at them at all.
Some women have done this for over an hour, us playing back and forth, her leaning full body onto my back, then us both dancing with each other in a way that is so subtle that others around you do not notice.
However, when you both turn around, you both know it is on.
Feeling a stranger laugh while talking to her friends, while she is moulded to your back is an interesting sensation; if she is tense or nervous you will feel it instantly; if she is relaxed it will be so obvious.
Observation. –Peregrinus (June 04, 2011) (Comment)
(The above posts and comments came from www.NaturalFreedom.Info.
Also, you can pick up “21st Century Fox Space Age Pimping”, the revolutionary book The Kidd assisted in writing here.)