Has Manhood Gone Out of Style???
When did manhood go out of style?
When did being a man STOP being the 'in' thing? Can somebody please tell me?
Maybe I slept in that day or played hooky, or maybe it happened back when I was still getting high, and my mind was filled with cannabis smoke at the time.
I've never seen so many metro-sexual, moist looking dudes in all my days. When did rough hands, strong backs, broad shoulders, and facial hair give way to skinny jeans, ascots, Just For Me perms, and openly displaying one's butt and drawers for the whole world to see?
Maybe I'm just THAT out of touch with the streets. Somebody, please help me because when I was coming up, boys aspired to be MEN.
We had examples of manly men all around us; dudes who loved women, played sports, fixed bikes and cars, rough-housed and fought; sometimes with just fists and sometimes with baseball bats.
You know: MAN STUFF!
These dudes nowadays are so soft they can't take a teasing without resorting to thoughts of suicide, or worse, thoughts of mass homicide.
Not to say teasing is cool, I don't think it ever has been, but when I was growing up I was teased mercilessly for having big lips; by both guys and girls, and it never entered my mind to kill myself because of it!
*Some of those same females now think my 'big' lips are sexy! (Laugh out loud)! Got to love the irony.*
We used to play football outdoors on the concrete, and if you've ever seen Philly, you know that's some rough concrete! Dudes nowadays think they did something manly by staying home all day playing Madden!
Nah bruh, playing football on TV doesn’t count!
You even got dudes now running up on people, robbing them with skinny jeans on! I'm sorry homie, any dude running up on me wearing skinny jeans is going to get the brakes beat off him! I just can't take you seriously looking like a moist thug!
It’s time for masculinity to come back into vogue. I'm not sure how it ever left, but it’s time for a return. I'm starting to feel like the last of a dying breed out here. I know I'm not alone, but geez. True manhood is becoming as rare as spotting the doggone Jersey Devil!
So, I've compiled a short list of what I consider to be some "manly" stuff to do. Feel free to add to it as your own inner muse permits.
* Watch more manly movies and TV. You know, stuff like The Godfather, Beowulf, 300, Gladiator, GI Joe, The Expendables, Scarface, Star Wars, Lord of the Rings, and Fight Club, and shows like Boardwalk Empire, Game of Thrones, Entourage, etc.
Just stay away from The Notebook and movies like P.S.: I Love You, at least for now.
* Listen to more manly music. The radio has become a breeding ground for effeminacy within men. Have you noticed that there are hardly ANY male singers left with deep voices? Think about it. He may have been as fruity as Pebbles, but, at least, Luther Vandross SOUNDED masculine!
All these guys nowadays sing in high tones and falsetto, like maybe something down below isn't hanging the way it should.
* Get out with other men more. Go catch a ball game. Go fishing. Go out for a beer, or if you don't drink beer, shoot some pool or go bowling. Do an all men's bible study. Iron sharpens iron, and it takes other men to help keep you on your toes, less you slip into this girly softness that's all around us.
* I know 'real men' wear pink, but usually, it’s really metro-sexual men., and what's up with the pinkening of the NFL lately??? I'm all for breast cancer survival; but last I checked, men rarely catch breast cancer. Our struggle seems to be mostly with prostate cancer.
So, where is the campaign to cure that?! Why aren't we all wearing BROWN ribbons, in addition to the pink ones, to support our fallen comrades who died too soon from the cancer that kills most men? Not to make one form of cancer more important than the next, but that's kind of my point.
When I was coming up, real dudes wouldn't be caught dead in pink. I know times have changed, and everyone is on this 'go along to get along' kick, so if you just MUST put it on, because you're trying to show solidarity with the fight to end cancer of the boob, try toning it down a bit. Maybe restrict it to a pocket scarf, or necktie, or some cuff links. This brings me to my next point:
* Go out and buy yourself a suit, a real manly looking one. One of my favorite stores is Bachrach; some other good ones are The Men's Wearhouse, JoS A. Banks, and Brooks Brothers; get a necktie, buy a fedora, and upgrade your manly shoe game.
Grown men wear grown men attire like square toe shoes, Ferragamo, Mezlan Gators, etc. It’s alright to wear your sneakers, throwback jerseys, and baseball caps too; just mix it up every now and then with some grown man gear.
* Give yourself some space away from your lady. It'll work wonders for your relationship. When you're up under each other too much, you become easily annoyed with each other. Take a break every once in a while and do what YOU like to do without the little lady in tow, and no that's not a pass to go out and cheat.
* Also, if you are in a relationship, instead of hanging with 'the boys' all the time, take your behind home to your family! It never ceases to amaze me how dudes will get into a relationship, then spend every hour they can away from home. Proof of love is in time spent, so if you hate going home to your lady, maybe it’s time to get real with yourself and reassess where you actually stand in your relationship.
As stated, this is just MY quick list loaded with personal opinions. Feel free to add to it, especially the fellas. It’s really up to us to set the standards for manhood. We can't expect the ladies to do that. -Mack Major (October 4, 2013) (UPA) (Post)
It’s social engineering to reverse the roles of a man and a woman. Tavistock Institute has been coming up with new ways to change the mentality of American Society as a whole. Just be cognizant of what it is and act accordingly and keep your children away from the TV. - Blackutopia (October 4, 2013) (UPA) (Comment)
I feel your frustration brother. I remember when that shit used to piss me off, that’s when I realized moist niggas were not in my lane, so I chose not to entertain them. I grew up around straight G's. I mean hard-working men who dressed fly, took care of their family, started businesses, & had principles and values they lived by. All the brothers I'm around--from my dad to uncles, homeboys, and friends--manhood has not gone out of style, and they make sure they pass on what was taught to them to the boys they are around, so we can continue to have a generation of thorough men. I know it's an epidemic of the moist nigga, but my focus is on these young boys who still need to know there are REAL MEN that exist and get the TRUTH and mannerisms from them. Studying the law of attraction, I understand I can't focus on the men who have turned into women but the men who are still men, so the moist nigga is completely off my radar. -1st Ladee’ Queen (Comment)
The chick and her punk ass fiancé are emulating the Beyoncé "Single Ladies" video -Demarlo74 (October 4, 2013) (UPA) (Comment)
Great post by the way. This was on the Fox morning news in the D.C., Maryland, Virginia area yesterday morning and I couldn't fucking believe it. Have men falling off this goddamn far. This bitch insisted that she and her "man" dress alike for the photo shoot. I wish my woman would ask me some shit like that, she'll know better than to come at me with some bullshit, unlike this soft ass pansy. His whole style is CHUMP! -Demarlo74 (October 4, 2013) (UPA) (Comment)
Moistness is even presenting itself in football--of all the fucking manly sports out here. Niggas scared to tackle or even play straight up contact football, niggas playing flag or tag football. I know you have to be worried about concussions and stuff, but you can still play contact football and not get a concussion, niggas.
Also, you're right Mack Major & Blackutopia about the movies and shows on TV. Have you turned on TV and seen all of the shows, not just daytime but now all the time, are seemingly womanly and caters to women, gays, and metrosexuals.
One thing more men need to do is step to women and display manliness. Niggas now will get ready to fight another nigga over bullshit and aren’t scared to stab, cut, or even shoot another person, but ask that same nigga to step to a dime, or any good-looking-shapely-well-put-together woman, and niggas become all timid and shy. Niggas don't want to step to females anymore; always wondering "Is she going to like me? What if I say this, and she doesn't approve? What if she rejects me and people see it?”. Niggas have all these bullshit thoughts in their heads. IT FUCKING DRIVES ME CRAZY!!! I hate that bullshit thinking that men come up with when it comes to talking to women. You can tell a nigga some mission impossible shit to do like, "rob 20 banks in one day", and the funny thing is the nigga will be down to do it. However, tell a nigga to do some simple shit like stopping a woman and having a conversation, and niggas act like you are speaking another language because of how scared they are. WHO GIVES A FUCK WHAT SHE THINKS?!!!
A couple of months ago I was working with this cat, and he liked this girl and complained all the time that he is doing so much for her, and she gives him no play, but gives her boyfriend all the play, even though he treats her like shit. The first time this nigga told me that shit I told him to charge her IMMEDIATELY!!! IMMEDIATELY!!! Then failing to listen to me, he told me this crazy shit that went down:
The girl went to the beach with her boyfriend, and the nigga wanted to fuck on the beach, and she didn't want to do it, so her boyfriend got up and drove away and left her on the beach. She then told the nigga I worked with, and he went to comfort her, making this bitch cry on his shoulders in his car. Next week this nigga came to work pissed because the girl called her boyfriend and apologized for not fucking him on the beach and went over to his apartment and let the nigga fuck her brains out. Afterward, she called the guy I worked with and asked him if he could pick her up at her boyfriend’s apartment, which he did. During that long 45 minutes ride to drop her off at her place, she was in the nigga’s car talking to her boyfriend the whole time and not even acknowledging him, other than the initial "hey". (Laugh out loud) (I can't make this shit up. I swear on everything I love; this is what the nigga told me. (Laughing my ass off)
When he finally reached her house, she got off the phone and looked at the nigga, because he was pissed, and asked him "What’s wrong? You seem upset.". When the nigga told me this shit I cut this nigga off COMPLETELY. To this day, we have no communication because I told him to charge the bitch to the game a billion fucking times and he didn't listen. However, ask this nigga to step to some other nigga on some rah, rah shit and he is down right away, with boxing gloves, SWAT suit, and everything you can think of to fight with. -World Boss (October 4, 2013) (UPA) (Comment)
(Laugh out loud) Man, nowadays to be a real man, you got to play Grand Theft Auto on X-Box or PlayStation 2. No wonder, girls be breaking those games and be hating them so much. Men get to be heroes in video games, and if they do what is required of them, they get to go to the next level and gain respect. In the real world, the best you get for stepping up is a paycheck that your woman can use to buy nicer things for herself, which she'll eventually claim as her own when she eventually fills out the papers.
In the real world, a man does what he is supposed to do, while the man who doesn't do what he's supposed to and sticks to it, gets to smash them all. Like I said in another post, modern American women don't give a fuck about anything; they're like honey badgers or chickens running around with their heads cut off. If you want to manage them and eventually conquer them, you have to be a honey badger about your principles, or what you consider to be true, something that these chicks lack. It's like Miley Cyrus, what does she hope to accomplish with all her antics: fun and attention, there is no true ethic, or legitimate purpose behind it. As men we don't live that way, and the more we accept that and live by that, the more likely we will be able to become heroes in reality. -Wizdom (October 4, 2013) (UPA) (Comment)
Just observe what is on television and radio, then watch and see how it influences society, and, in particular, the black community. They are taking manhood away from men and preventing it from even starting in our little boys. I will not have a manly daughter and/or a princess boy, NOT HAPPENING. I don't even have children yet, but I'm getting prepared for parenthood already so I can be on my P's and Q's to raise them correctly. In another 5-10 years, this whole society is going to be backwards with, Black folks especially showing how prevalent the backwardness is. Turn off the tell-a-lie-vision and read more, focus on building yourself a business, research on countries to move to and retire, or escape to if need be. Obama was a sign of change, and nobody said it was good change, just some change to believe in, which was a play on words for simpletons. -Blackutopia (October 4, 2013) (UPA) (Comment)
Great post, being a man is frowned upon in today's society even in the Army, which I thought was one of the manliest professions out there, but I was wrong. Even in basic training, the drill sergeants were not allowed to look soldiers in the eyes while they were disciplining them. Under new Army regulation, it’s seen as a form of hazing and intimidation. When I finished basic training, it got worse. If a Sergeant calls you a, let's say, "Punk Ass Bitch," you can go to the Inspector General (IG) and file a complaint against that sergeant. I've seen cats who have been in the Army 20 plus years hold back from going in on a soldier because that soldier threaten to report them to IG, and most of these young soldiers need a rude awakening because they see the Army as a babysitter. I've said this before; The Army has all these classes/courses that teach you how to be a better soldier but nothing that teaches you how to be a better man/woman. Sometimes I feel like I was born 30 years too late. -Mackanic (October 4, 2013) (UPA) (Comment)
I feel you dog, 100.
Manhood is almost taboo.
Moreover, what's crazy is our little ones are growing up with that inclination. You raise your voice at them, rightfully so, they’ll act like the world's going to end because they're not used to a man raising his voice at them. You tell them the truth, and they'll act like you're an alien. I told this youngster I saw out about an article I had just read about how sagging could cause Erectile Dysfunction; he was visibly shaken, but he was trying to save face.
They say words are feminine, deeds are masculine; I believe the time for talk is over. Real men have to show the world, especially our community, how this shit is supposed to go. Fuck what's politically correct! -kgizzle (October 6, 2013) (UPA) (Comment)
What is Manhood to you in 2014?
Since there has been a shift in thought about what being a man in this generation is, I wanted to open some dialogue with the masses about what THEY think manhood really is.
I’m an 80s–90s baby so I came up when the absentee dad thing was very prevalent. Although I came from a two-parent home (with everyone biologically whole – no steps or others), all of my friends had single mothers – every one of them in my neighborhood. This, as we know, was a byproduct of the 60s-70s government engineered “reward program” for NOT having a man in the household. I won’t get into the history lesson because, honestly, I don’t think looking at our history does enough for the current generation, mainly because we don’t appreciate the history, nor do we care about it enough to make choices today from it. It makes for solid talking points and tends to make people who know the history look intelligent, but rarely does it hit home with most in today’s generation.
Let’s work within the 2000s (current decade):
Having Things versus Creating
In the black male community, several circles of men perceive manhood as the ability to have a lot of stuff:
The accumulation of “shit-to-have” is nothing new whereas the history of all of civilization shows having an abundance of riches and resources translates to power. What happened to the black male community is that we got caught up in the “having” as opposed to the “creating” though.
It’s my opinion that manhood is about creation:
- Creating a way for your family
- Creating a lane for you to grow the crops of life
- Creating a reason for women to want to be with you
- Creating those riches and resources.
This is entirely just my perspective, and clearly there are more attributes to being a man (i.e. integrity, follow-through, etc.) but being able to create the things you need in life is key.
Is Manhood Being Suffocated?
Also, let’s speak on the gay shit for a minute because manhood is apparently in question in today’s society. It's funny to me how black women and men who support homosexuality also support manhood. Why is manhood not brought up when the homosexual community makes their spill about their rights? I look at cats like Chris Broussard, who publicly spoke out against homosexuality under HIS beliefs and how they attacked him in the media behind it, so there seems to be a hush movement on manhood. I give him props because he stood up as a man and said he didn’t agree with it, as did Chick-Fil-A and several other corporations. Manhood has to mean more to you if you want to see it, live it, be it.
I say all this to ask - Shouldn’t we black men and women fight for manhood? How can we align with a movement that undermines manhood and then turn around and make the bold statements about the lack of manhood in our community? Alternatively, is it just that homosexuality has nothing to do with undermining manhood?
It’s MY opinion that to be a man you have to be aligned with manhood. For a woman to be aligned with men who want to take the role of a woman, they are misaligned in their needs and confusing themselves daily about what they need in their lives versus what they socially accept. Sure, you can walk and chew bubble gum but the essence of what you believe has two sides, so there is little to no consistency, and your results will ALWAYS show you this. I can’t speak for all, but those women I have seen who WHOLEHEARTEDLY believe in manhood have fewer man problems than those who embrace it. They understand what a man is supposed to be and align themselves accordingly. Again, just from what I have seen personally. –Plan~B (January 6, 2014) (UPA)
(You can read more UPA posts here.
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