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The Smash-mouth Job Search Guide

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As someone that’s worked since he was 16--and has held well over 30 jobs--I’ve seen everything in the book as far as jobs go. I've fried fish at Long John Silvers, shelved VHS tapes at Blockbuster (for minimum wage), worked for the top entertainment search engines (CitySearch and YellowPages.com), and I gained a security clearance when I was working for the Department of Education (at upwards of $80K a year).

*Warning: Some of the stuff listed wouldn’t be looked at fondly by human resources managers if they knew you were gaming the system but we all need to eat and I’d rather see my people bend the rules than catch a case on some dumb stuff.*

I’ve seen cats asking for interview advice before so here’s what I’ve done nearly word for word to get a job regardless of the industry and you can try it out for yourself to see if it works.

1. Resume

My resumes have always been stark–no fancy heading or lettering; never on any bullshit colored paper either.
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My Encounter with a 38-Year-Old Ratchet

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All right, I’m going to share with my readers my encounter with a 38-year-old ratchet. (Forewarning, this will be a long post.) Tonight, I was at the southern legends of hip-hop concert. I sat in the second section, so I was kind of close to the stage. There were mostly females on my row, and I was sitting in-between them. While sitting there, I stayed in my lane, and simply listened to the concert. Due to this, the females took notice that I did not make a pass at any of them. (It’s funny how if a guy situates himself around females long enough, and does not make a pass at any of them, the women will begin to make passes at him. :-D )
Explanation of this.
I don’t like to spit at females at these elaborate events because often they have these diva complexes about themselves. When I spit at broads, I like to get at them in ordinary places. Many are still bitches, but it lessens the chance to deal with the diva complex.
Back to the story.
So, the female sitting to the right of me (we’ll cal…

Get Women on Your Terms

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I think enough is enough. Men today have to endure lousy advice from friends, mothers, and females about dating. They've been told to treat women special. I'm here to say, "Be specific." You don't treat all women special; you treat exceptional women, the right type of women, special. Women with class need to be treated as such. Women who don't even respect themselves don't deserve an ego boost to justify their behavior.
Women, whether they want to admit it or not, wish to be with a man on his terms. If a man is with her on her terms, she subconsciously disrespects him. Think I'm full of shit? When a woman asks you, "Where are we going on a date?" and your response is "I don't know. Wherever you want to go.", she's going to think very little of you. When you don't display masculine authority in the relationship, she's going to believe you're weak and may end up sleeping with a dude behind your back who has no prob…

Media Manipulation

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I want to talk about various instances of media manipulation. While on LinkedIn, I recall seeing articles talk about the economic progress that is taking place in America. Now, from my previous articles, we know that the exact opposite is occurring. Another example of media manipulation is things related to the Kardashians. Most Black people don’t observe the daily happenings of the Kardashians. Whenever Kim wears a Black hair doo--which the media will rename something else, i.e., calling cornrows boxer braids, we don’t notice until an article pops up about Black people allegedly upset about it. These articles will pop up and tell us how we feel about specific topics and then sheeple will get in line and invoke that feeling. The same media manipulation attempts to transpire when a Black spokesperson gets on camera and states his/her opinions on relevant topics. Often, the person speaking is reading from a pre-approved script and is voicing what White supremacist suspects want him/her …

Ignorance Is Not a Luxury Afforded to Black People

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Several months ago, I was at a shopping center to print off a document so that I could mail it off. I had already labeled my envelope and was going into FedEx Kinkos with my thumb-drive, envelope, and book of stamps. Now, as I got out of my car, a breeze blew by blowing my book of stamps out of my hand and into the car next to mine. The reason my stamp-booklet was able to blow into the car next to me was that it was a luxury drop-top Porsche. Moreover, it had its top dropped. Now, when it happened, for a split second I thought about opening the back-door (my stamp-booklet fell on the floor of the backseat) to grab my booklet. However, I immediately realized that would not be a good idea. If I did that, it would be presumed that I’m trying to either steal something or the vehicle itself. So, due to this, I decided that I’ll have to contact security to have them contact the driver so that he/she can pass me my stamp-booklet. Now, in this situation, I went into Kinkos first, and by the t…

Jobs that Black Men can get without Begging

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In today’s economy, Black men essentially have to beg employers to hire us; the reason being is that we’re in an employer’s market. Therefore, it doesn’t matter how qualified we are, we still end up competing against numerous, desperate, candidates that are willing to accept gigs for less than what they're worth. Furthermore, companies discriminate against hiring Black men anyway. To add further to our employment disenfranchisement, many companies have outsourced their jobs to staffing firms. So, companies are able to fill roles without having to pay benefits. Also, when the tasks have been completed—and things begin slowing down—companies are able to layoff its workforce without having to pay unemployment. This keeps workers—specifically Black workers—constantly living in a state of panic. You never know when you may get let go. It also doesn’t help that many companies aren’t concerned with having reputable reputations. So, they don’t care at all about reneging on their agreement…

Employer’s Market

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In today’s economy, we have an employer’s market. This means that the job market is overwhelmingly in favor of employers. This grants employers leverage to hire and fire whenever they want. However, despite these advantages that they have, many employers are crying wolf about there just not being any eligible candidates to fill their roles. What these employers—that happen to be White—are really saying is that there aren’t any suitable White candidates to fill these roles. Right now, America is in the midst of an opioid epidemic which bears the likeness of the bubonic plague. Moreover, these jobs are what are considered to be “good” high-paying jobs. So, companies don’t want to hire Black people to fill these roles. In fact, many are discussing removing drug testing because it’s proving to be too much of a barrier. So, these employers would rather hire drug addicts and lose money on 2 ends (paying the addict’s salary and losing money due to low productivity) than hire qualified Black …

Most Black Men in America Now

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Since I’m a unique type of guy, I don’t really focus on ordinary guys, but I’ve begun to take notice of something among men nowadays. Many men have become consistent complainers and perpetual procrastinators. Many guys today are like the slaves of the 1800s. Most guys now would rather sit around and mope about their current situation rather than actually get off of their asses and do something to fix it. This is something I’m not accustomed to. Furthermore, many guys now are incredibly stupid. It’s as though many guys have comprehension problems and articulation problems. Noticing these major flaws within men in society has caused me to better understand the comprehension and articulation issues that women are having. Many men and women perpetually interact with intellectual imbeciles, so their cognition remains at a remedial level; this is why it’s important to only interact with people going somewhere. -Derrick Mills, 06/26/2017


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Most Women Nowadays Would Rather Impress a Woman Rather Than a Man

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As time has passed, I’ve noticed more and more women that are gay and/or bisexual. Nowadays, I actually expect every woman I meet to be bisexual. Furthermore, I’ve told my friends that many of these women aren’t out to impress us. For example, the wigs and weaves that they place in their hair that messes their scalp up; that’s done to impress other women. I’ve never heard a guy—that wasn’t desperate—say he finds weaves and/or wigs attractive. The only people that find it cute are other women, so they’re doing it to appeal to other women. I’ve never heard any guys clamor about Black women needing to straighten their hair either. That was pushed upon them by the dominant society. Black men never had an issue with their natural hair. When they straightened their hair, many of us just went with it. Also, this tattoo craze, although we’re the originators of tattoos—since our culture has been branding itself since ancient times but those are tribal and mean something--nowadays, these tatto…

Investment Alternatives

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So, in this post, I’m going to talk a little bit about investment alternatives. One thing people should look into are variants of indexed universal life policies. They mimic the stock market to an explicitly stated percentage rate. They allow you to borrow money from your built-up cash value for emergencies without affecting the death benefit—provided your cash value surpasses the death benefit. Alternatively, the borrowed money will just subtract from the death benefit amount. However, the real attribute is that they don’t lose money—even when the stock market goes down. They still earn 1%. Moreover, an experienced agent can cover your inheritance passed down from a loved one so that you can receive your money without, even, having to pay taxes. Also, this policy can be written on your children. It can be used as an alternative to a College Savings Plan—provided you buy the policy when your children are young, and you overfund the policy.
Next, annuities are another great vehicle. The…

Unemployment Rate Mindfuckery

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Unemployment rates are much higher than studies dictate. Unemployment lasts up to 6 months. However, due to the depression we’re in, people are remaining unemployed well beyond 6 months. However, when it comes time to determine the unemployment rate, these people aren’t counted. However, they never disappeared; they just fell off the listing. Going further, the major issue now is under-employment. We have a massive under-employment catastrophe going on. People are working 2 to 3 jobs just to make ends meet. This is all due to the hyper-inflation we’re experiencing. So, no, the real unemployment rate is through the roof. Furthermore, under-employment is astronomical. Moreover, these problems were going on during the Obama administration. By the way, under-employed people still do boost the employment rate even though they’re not making ends meet. The reason being, they don’t increase the unemployment rate because they don’t draw unemployment.

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The Universe Has a Funny Way of Working Itself Out

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As you know, I work in the insurance industry. So in other words, I am an entrepreneur. However, outside of my clients, I do still have bosses. Furthermore, my bosses offer me advice to the best of their knowledge—and based off of their biases. Now, regardless of what one does, we live in America, and America is still racist at its core. Therefore, regardless of what degree of freedom one attains through his/her profession, racist prejudices will still be incorporated.
Now, with the aforementioned, I have been advised that I needed to dress up my image a bit more. I need to take the pen out of my shirt, and I need to stop wearing skullcaps because it doesn’t look professional. Now, if I were a game-goofy clown--that believes everything his/her white counterpart tells him/her--, then I’d accept this advice with no questions asked. However, I’m not. I understand that some people are racists and will create any excuse to voice their disdain for me. So with that in mind, I do not take raci…