Valentine's Day - How to Handle Your Seduction

Ah, Valentine’s Day - The Bane of Every Male’s Existence.

What a racket, huh?

It’s not as bad as that trumped up bullcrap “holiday," Sweetest Day, but it’s still a real catch-22 for a lot of men.

And by the way – over at the Modern Male Lifestyle, we don’t recognize Sweetest Day. If the bank is open – it’s not a holiday. I personally get more action on so-called Sweetest Day by blowing it off than when I ever got sucked into that trap.

But Valentine’s Day. That’s a tough one. What’s a self-respecting brother to do? Before I let you in on some good ideas, I have to tell you a couple stories. How many of you have ever been in a situation where a woman complains that you aren’t romantic enough? Worse yet – has she ever bitched about not getting flowers? Well, if you haven’t – consider yourself lucky. Because I have. I’ve been in both those situations. And more times than I care to admit. And there’s not a whole lot you can do about getting into that situation in the first place – because no matter what you do, it will come up one day or another. And it has nothing to do with you – it has everything to do with her.

You know – her. The keeper of those body parts we all so want to get our DNA all over. It was some time ago – but I had a girlfriend that really laid into me one time about not getting her flowers. She told me I wasn’t romantic enough and in not so many words, if I knew what was good for me I’d be on the phone to FTD with my credit card in the near future wasting 45 dollars on something that was already dead – and wasn’t going to last a week.

The first time you’re in this situation – what goes through our minds? Something like, “Shit! I guess I’d better get her some flowers.” And probably the follow up thought, “That should shut her up!” Well – stupid me. I did it. And guess what? What a sucker I was. It didn’t shut her up. In fact, she was even bitchier with me after the bouquet showed up!

What the hell? I didn’t realize it at the time – but I sure as hell know why it didn’t “work” today. I mean, it seemed like a nice thing to do, right? I’ll tell you why it pissed her off.

It’s because she bitched about it – and then I did it. Yeah. That’s right. She actually got her way, and it pissed her off. You know why this is, don’t you?

Well, if you’ve listened to my audio program, Total Control, you know exactly why. And as you may have guessed – this is a control issue. You see, my friends, women act like they want to be in control all the time. But deep down inside they don’t want to be in control at all. In fact, they want a man to take control – from the get go.

I know, I know – this doesn’t sound nice. It doesn’t sound politically correct. But a woman really wants a man to be in control – of himself first and of her too. She wants him to lead. She wants him to direct. She wants him to make decisions for her.

And if you don’t believe it – just take a good, hard look around. Women say this and say that, but who are they with? Who are they really attracted to? Yeah, that’s right – real men. Alpha guys. Men who can make decisions and don’t pay any mind to their bitch list. You have to ignore what women say, and pay attention to what they do.

Because even if you ask them – they have no fricking idea what they want. At least they aren’t able to express it. But they sure as hell know it when they see it. Seriously, how many times have you heard a woman say she wants a nice guy, a guy who’s in touch with his feelings, is sensitive to her needs, someone who will be her best friend….all this crap. And then who is she banging? The guy down at the gas station who never calls her.

Ever seen that super-hottie with that total jerk? Ever wonder what the hell is going on there?

I’ll tell you this, gentlemen. A really bad reason to get a woman flowers is because she bitched about it. A really bad reason to do anything for a woman is because she complained to get her way. The moment you do – you are sunk. Because women absolutely don’t respect a man who they can boss around. Even if it is through use of one of their classic manipulation tactics. This is, of course, the bitch list.

And here’s the big problem with the bitch list. It never ends. Ever.

If she lays into you with 3 things she wants or wants you to change – you can’t do them. Because if you do – by the time you are finished, she’s going have another list for you.

And she thinks it’s going to make her happy when you do it. And you think it’s going to make her happy when you do it. But it doesn’t. In fact – it makes both parties miserable. The man is pissed because he has to do something he doesn’t want to do, and she’s pissed because she can boss you around – which shows her time and again that you aren’t the kind of man she really wants. The kind of man that fulfills her.

It’s true. Gauran-god-damned-teed. And I know. I found out the hard way – as I’m sure a lot of you have, too.

I detail exactly how to disarm every test, every manipulation tactic and every bitch list in my program, Total Control, by the way. It’s a fricking masterpiece.

But – back to those flowers. When I think back on every dozen roses I’ve ever bought – I started to realize something. Almost none of them led to a night of getting laid. Oh, maybe a steady girlfriend here or there had sex with me after she got flowers…but it wasn’t the flowers that put her in the mood. In fact, I’d had plenty of sex with them without any presents at all.

And here’s a really awesome point I’d love to share. Out of my 3 girlfriends last year at this time – not a one did I get her anything on Valentine’s Day. Not because I’m a bad guy. In fact, I’m a really generous guy. But hey – what did they get me on Valentine’s Day?

Not a thing. So why should I run out and spend my hard-earned cash on them? Well…

Let me tell you something. All I know is that I’ve had more fun and more sex with women that I’ve never spent a dime on than women I’ve laid out the red carpet and princess treatment for. It’s not even close.

Women really don’t care for gifts. It’s not what makes them sleep with you. Not by a long shot. If it was, then all we’d have to do is go out and buy a woman some shit and she’ll bang us all the time.  And you have to know by now that doesn’t work. When a woman is attracted to you – it doesn’t matter what you get her. And if you’ve just met a woman and you lead with gifts and flowers, and flashing your cash and expensive dinners – you aren’t going to have her at all. You may get a little “carrot and stick” quickie to keep the cash flowing – but she isn’t attracted to you.

I know women (one who is a really great friend of mine) who take guys for 1000’s of dollars and never even have to blow them. It’s true.

Am I saying you shouldn’t get your sweetie anything at all ever? Well – I know that sounds extreme….but what about the women you’ve bought tons of stuff for (like two or three dinner dates for example) and never even seen her naked? Food for thought.

Here are a couple rules of thumb, and you can employ these for this upcoming Valentine’s Day if you like.

Number one – dinner, gifts, flowers, etc. are the exclusive privilege of women you are already sleeping with. And if you think about it – any woman you are having sex with is probably still going to have sex with you the next time whether you buy her something or not.

Which leads us to rule number two: You buy your woman something because it makes you feel good to give. And for no other reason. Not for sex, and definitely not because she bitched about it.

And rule number 3 – always live by rule number one. 

Here’s a quick, final tip for V-day, gents. Don’t blow your wad on dozens of roses. It’s a waste of money. For her – all you have to do is recognize this god-awful holiday. Get her one, simple rose. Don’t wrap it. Don’t get a card. Just one rose. The funny thing is – it has 12 times the effect as a dozen ever will. And it’s a hell of a lot cheaper.

Have her over for dinner. Order a pizza. Light a candle. Give her one rose.

Say, “You know…I don’t usually go in for all this Valentine’s Day stuff…but with you, well, I just felt like I wanted to get you a little something.”

Then bang her brains out.

Till next time
Live the Lifestyle
J.D.

(You can read more of his posts as well as purchase his material here http://www.modernmalelifestyle.com/.)

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