Self-Mastery: Stop Trying to be a "Real Man."

"A real man takes care of his kids and knows how to treat a woman with respect." 
"A real woman knows how to cook and knows how to treat her man." 

You've heard these and similar terms before. They make up the vast majority of public debates and conversations about Black relationships between Black men and Black women, whether it's online, in churches, hanging out, etc. As frequently as this occurs and as passionate people become, most of these debates are mythological, just like arguing over who is a better player between LeBron James and Michael Jordan. 

The most important part of the game, and life in general, is self-mastery. Knowing and controlling who you are, so you can turn yourself into the man, or even woman you want to be. The argument over "real" this and that, means that there is some external force that validates you as a real man or real woman, and until it does, you aren't real. If you believe this and apply it, your game suffers, because you're no longer focusing on yourself and what you can control, but rather how others (or the opposite sex) views you. 

This is why many up-and-coming macks are not excelling in the game. They are trying to be a "real" man, they are trying to be something that other people created and defined for them, and when they try to act on it, they fail. Anyone that studies successful people realizes that yes, they do have similarities, but what made them successful was their ability to be whom they wanted to be, or acting towards their own goals and image of what success looks like. 

When you're in the mindset of looking for validation, you become detached from yourself. This is why so many youngins in the game ask idiotic questions like "Is this simping?" You're trying to have other macks tell you what is or isn't simping, which means you haven't internalized the game. The books, podcast and all the other sources of ism on here are guides, they cannot, and will not, make you a man; that's your responsibility. -Wizdom, Courtesy of UPA (April 2, 2016)

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