Submission: The Quintessential Post
Years ago, I shared Anti-Simp’s post “Being Submissive versus Being a Doormat,” however, today, I’m going to elaborate on submission and women’s responsibility when it comes to choosing. Now, I’m going to give a disclaimer that this post will be game-heavy, so lames and squares be warned. Let’s begin.
So, we know that women choose men. The woman has 100% control over who she chooses to date. We have 100% control over who we approach. Now, with great power comes great responsibility. Thus, women have to know at the onset what they are choosing mates for. Are you choosing to date or choosing for sex? According to her reason, her criteria will be different. If a woman is choosing for sex, then his looks are paramount. However, if she’s choosing for a relationship, then his leadership skills and the way he carries himself are paramount.
Now, I’m not judgmental about women getting their groove on. We all love sex. However, the type of relationship determines the interactions. Many Black women have an issue with submitting to a Black man. Many feel it’s too risky to put their trust in following a Black man. Therefore, they want an even partnership, at a minimum, leadership at the maximum. That’s their prerogative. However, we see that most are single, so their prerogative is irrelevant here. Men and women aren’t made the same. We’re different. Men are made to lead. Women are made to follow. So, this post is based on that.
Now, let’s say a woman’s criteria for choosing her mate is sex. First, she has to be honest with herself about why she’s choosing a mate. From here, it will dictate the dynamic of the relationship. If the relationship is simply sexual, then she doesn’t have to submit—other than sexually. Outside of sex, there can’t be any expectations from the other. Many women come up short here. They choose partners by using a criterion geared around sex; however, they seek relationships out of this. They complain the guy lacks any ability to lead. Thus, she can’t follow him. However, that’s her fault. She used the wrong criteria to select a mate since her goal is a relationship. Therefore, she has to use her relationship-criteria to choose a mate for a relationship.
Now, some of you ladies reading this may be thinking, what if she uses her relationship-criteria to choose a mate and he still is incapable of leading? Then what? At this point, you’ll have to evaluate yourself to determine what do you consider relationship-criteria. Finally, let’s assume that your criterion is correct, then this is where common sense kicks in. You know if someone is spouting nonsense not to follow. However, the issue comes when women are dating guys that happen to be involved in situations that she’s unfamiliar with. This is where the submission comes into play. If you’re with a guy that’s confident in what he’s doing—although you don’t understand it—you follow anyway. This is the area that women have a problem with. They find it hard to trust a Black man in an area that the Black woman is unfamiliar with. I understand the apprehension. However, in this situation, if the woman can’t trust the guy yet, then trust her judgment. As I said in the beginning, the woman chooses the man. Therefore, if a woman can’t trust the man she chose to lead her in unfamiliar terrain, then what she’s saying is that she doesn’t trust her judgment. This is a personal issue that she has to work out. It’s not the guy’s responsibility to solve this problem.
Next, let’s quash this notion that the guy has to demonstrate his ability to lead first before the woman follows. One can’t lead someone that isn’t following, first off. Second, the woman has to trust her choosing abilities. Third, there won’t be any demonstrations of leadership capabilities. The reason there won’t be is that the hardest role that the woman has is to choose correctly. Afterward, leading her and the flow of the relationship falls on the guy. Therefore, leaving her to fulfill her role of submission is the minimum effort required by her. She has to follow competently and play her position. However, she can’t be allowed to shirk from her responsibility by observing the man before choosing to submit. Both have to invest stakes in the relationship.
Women worry that they may choose the wrong man and be led astray. However, guys run the risk of leading the wrong woman and wasting his efforts—while increasing his workload. Therefore, both take risks, so both must invest stakes.
Lastly, although what I said throughout the post has made sense, women may wonder what makes me so certain about the things that I’ve stated. Go choose a thorough guy for a relationship and hesitate to follow him, second guess him, and observe him for a while. See how long he keeps you around. It won’t be long. You’ll know then that what I said in this post is true.
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